I want to get married, have a family, and live happily ever after! I want love, I want happiness, I want the white picket fence, I want lots of money, I even want a dog! I know so well what I am looking for in my life, I see so clearly what will make me happy. I always hear that you should set a goal and keep your mind on it and go for it and it’ll happen. But it hasn’t happened!
Please don’t think I am sitting around dreaming of my mate, I’m doing anything but that. I am dating and dating and dating! The relationships just never turn out the way I want, they never go on for more than a few months, if that. I am tired of dating Jenny, I am tired of looking for that one special guy. Where is he? When will he come into my life? I’ve been dating for half of my life and that seems silly to say out loud. But it’s true… I’m so tired of waiting for him. Any advice or insight?
Please settle down and take a breath! I can almost hear the exhaustion in your letter. You stated that you are looking for a healthy, forever relationship. You also stated that you are actively dating, hoping to find it. Well, let me tell you that the number one reason relationships fail is because people are going into them for the wrong reasons. Many of us are afraid of being alone. And we want to be helped out financially as well as be guaranteed a sexual partner. Those are such simple requirements and about 50 years ago, they were enough. Now, however, the stakes are much higher in love. We are looking for our true beloved and will settle for nothing less. We are looking for someone who will fulfill our life’s destiny and make us a better version of ourselves.
Chelsey, from reading your question, it sounds like you are frustrated. Frustrated with the fact that you have been dating for years and years, frustrated with the fact that you simply want to live happily ever after, and you’re not there yet. And most of all, frustrated with yourself for not making it work with any of the guys you have already dated. The first thing you need to do is stop feeling down on yourself, stop feeling frustrated. Often when we feel down on ourselves, for any reason, we no longer view things clearly. When we start to want something desperately, in your case a mate, we tend to stop seeing ourselves. When I say stop seeing, I mean that we just look for what others can bring to the relationship, we no longer see our own potential. We no longer see the possibilities for love in our lives are unlimited.
Probably the only thing I can tell you, Chelsey, is to take a break. Take a break from dating, take a break from looking for the “one,” just take a break. Use the time to get to know yourself again, learn about you and what you have to offer a mate. Because when we tend to feel frustrated, that frustration can turn into desperation and when rooted in desperation, we are coming from a place of fear. Once fear enters the scene, happily ever after can never be had.
Know that the possibility for love in our lives is unlimited, abundance is ours, and when we start opening ourselves up we will stop being so fearful. You can never have a happy ending to an unhappy journey.